Lettre de Suicide
by blueangel573
Summary: The group all have their own ways of coping after Odd moves on from their group. Some are angry, others don't know how they're going to make it through the days. [WARNINGS: Suicide] [Established Odd/Ulrich]
1. Jeremy

Jeremy walked through his days pretty similarly as all the days before Odd died. Well, the days before Odd decided to be a _selfish bastard._ Jeremy was nothing but angry over what happened to one of their best friends, angry at his friend for not thinking of anyone but himself. Ulrich had always said the blonde was very self obsessed, and after experiencing this Hell of a week, Jeremy finally understood why.

The blonde distanced himself from the others in the group, only because they didn't feel the same on the topic as he did, and it was clear from the get go. Aelita and Ulrich hadn't stopped crying since that morning, and Yumi barely spoke anymore. Jeremy cried, once or twice he allowed himself to break down over the loss of such a formidable ally. After all, he was one of the crucial points in bringing Aelita to Earth, and he had to give Odd credit where credit is deserved.

Maybe Jeremy would've been more sad had it all made sense to him. Maybe, he would've cried with the others had he been able to see it in a more emotional standpoint. It always did take Jeremy a few days, a couple return to the pasts, and a good shouting at from Aelita before he realized he was being too analytical over things. Unfortunately, there's never going to be a repeat of Odd's death. There will never be a second chance for Jeremy to experience it and react differently. Besides, this wasn't like Aelita wanting to DJ, this was their friend deciding they just didn't want to live anymore. To Jeremy, that was so unbelievably illogical that there's no telling how many times it might take for him to truly react any differently than he did this time around.

Odd had no care at all that he destroyed their friend group. He didn't care how much he hurt Yumi, or Aelita. He didn't care that his boyfriend hardly felt alive. It was all about _Odd_ , and he's gone because of it. Jeremy scoffed at the thought, sitting at his computer and continued working on his new return to the past program.

Yeah, Odd may have been stupid, but Jeremy wouldn't let him get away with it if he could help it.


	2. Yumi

Yumi couldn't really tell what it was she was feeling. All throughout the day she just felt sort of _numb._ She walked through her days in a fog, not really knowing who or what is around her. Nothing was the same without Odd's laughter, his smiles, his presence. Her whole world got turned up onto it's head and the Japanese girl had no idea what to make of it.

She imagined herself losing Hiroki sometimes, and with a sickening feeling, she found she didn't feel any different than she felt over Odd. Odd was like her little brother, the one that came to her for stupid advice and made funny jokes when she was feeling a bit down. He drove her crazy in all the ways that a little brother would, and as Odd took more to learning Japanese, sometimes he took to calling her _Nee-chan._ Yumi took quick notice he never did it when others were around, and her heart clenched as she realized that had been something Odd and Yumi had shared together.

She was sad, she was angry, and most of all she just wanted to go to sleep and wake up with him here again.

She distanced herself from the group because she had no idea how to handle how all of them were feeling. Jeremy was completely aloof, and if it wasn't for her own bit of self control she would've put him in a grave already. Ulrich was broken beyond repair, and Aelita was hardly out of her room save for classes.

"Why?" Yumi shouted, throwing her pillow as hard as she could across the room. Tears fell freely down her face, the older girl sick with grief. What could she have done? Why didn't she see any signs?

Why was she such a bad friend?


	3. Aelita

Aelita understood death. She understood the permanence, she understood the gravity of the situation. It wasn't like being devirtualized on Lyoko, it wasn't even like falling into the digital sea. While both had a speck of hope tied to them, a small promise that she might or would see her friends again, death took that bit of hope and destroyed it. What she didn't understand, was why someone would want to die.

Aelita spent so much time fighting just to live, why would one of her best friends fight so hard to die? The day Ulrich found Odd, she had gone to Jeremy. Jeremy was her confidant, the one person who understood her and helped her understand every piece of this world she just couldn't grasp. She had asked him why, if there was something they had done wrong.

"Hadn't Odd loved Ulrich? Hadn't he loved us?" Aelita asked, tears streaming silently down her face.

"Odd only loved Odd." Aelita's heart had shattered then. He was _wrong_ , and she knew that from the start. He was lost in his mind, trying to piece their friend together like a poorly presented math problem. If 2 and 2 couldn't fit together to make 4, then it was useless to try and solve. Jeremy couldn't fit the pieces together, so he merely gave up on trying.

 _No, he misread the first 2 as a 22, and got 24._ Aelita had thought as she ran full speed out of the blonde's room. Jeremy didn't shout for her to stay, didn't try to get her to come back, didn't even care that she had left. Her heart ached not only for the lifeless body she saw lying limp in Ulrich's arms, but the lost friend she once considered the love of her life.

Aelita remembered how she ran straight to that familiar door, not even knocking as she barreled into Odd and Ulrich's room. She wasn't surprised when she found Ulrich sobbing over Odd's discarded clothes, the purple jacket held tight to his chest. The pink haired girl sat next to her friend, tears still falling freely down her face. The German boy, sensing her presence, looked up at her sadly. Aelita wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"I loved him." Ulrich choked, and Aelita hugged him that much tighter.

"I did too." The two sat wrapped in each other's arms for hours, well beyond the time Aelita should have returned to her own room for bed. If the two had paid a bit more attention, they would've seen the looming shadow of Jim standing outside the still open door. His face pained and sad, a single tear rolling down his own cheek as he watched the two break down in each other's arms. He walked away without a word, knowing there was no need to interrupt such a moment. He could make an exception or two once in awhile.


End file.
